Healing is hard. It takes a long time. We think we are ready for it, and with that initial energy we make it through for a while. Symptoms start subsiding, energy increases, you start feeling things you didn’t even know existed! Happiness that lasts all day long. Peace, energy, pain-free days, easy digestion, stronger muscles, better stress tolerance, memory improvement, and much more. You think to yourself “This is awesome! Now I know why people enjoy life and want to be alive.”
Then you think: “Great! The worst must be behind me!”
…and then you have a bad day…
…or two, or more…
It may have been from eating too much fruit/honey/nuts in your diet that day. It may have been from forgetting to take probiotics for a couple days, or from increasing your dose. It may have been from too much stress, a change in routine, not enough meat stock, a new food you aren’t ready for yet, missing your normal detox routine, or seemingly just from breathing wrong.
And you are reminded of how frail you are. How sick you are.
How precariously your new-found health is balanced on a thread
…and that thread is ready to break at any time.
There are days that it is all you can do to get through the day. Sometimes physically, but definitely mentally. It is hard to remember that you were getting better, that you have had mostly good days for weeks, maybe even months. Because you are only just making it. Then, whatever encouragement and strength you were leaning on deflated, and you are left holding up the crumpled cane.
There are so many emotions in play at this point–fear, anger, exhaustion, discouragement, depression, despair, anxiety, stress, panic, feeling overwhelmed. Wanting to curl up into a ball and stay there until the world passes by and learns to do without you. And often you feel silly about it, because to others, you may look fine, act fine, and seem normal.
These are the days it takes courage to overcome. And strength. And support. And energy. And thankfulness. And more than you feel you have to give. And sometimes it is more than you have to give. Without people around you, without God, without support and love, it would be much harder.
On these days you need to reach out to your support. Ask for prayer, let someone help you with housework or come over and cry with you. And remember, tomorrow is another day. And tomorrow will be different–it may be better or worse, or it may be about the same. But it might be better. Hold onto that hope.* It will get you through. *I can have hope that someday it will be better, because my hope is in something deeper than my health, or what I may encounter in this world. You can read about my hope here.
So when you have a hard day, give yourself a break, take things off your plate, reach out to those who love you, and have courage. You are doing something to be proud of!
How do I know? I have those days too. We are in this journey together. On these days, we walk as far as we can, and fight to believe the hope that tomorrow brings.
As we go, Onward!