I realize I have been absent on the web for the last little while, and I would like to share why…
I have been recently reminded that my body is still healing… I have felt so great over the last few months that I forgot that I am healing years and years of sickness and imbalance, and that does not magically disappear overnight, or even over a few months. I’m glad that I am where I am–in so many ways and for so many reasons. I am glad I am healing, even when it takes so much energy to do so. Even though I have to slow down… maybe I’m glad because I have to slow down.
… maybe I’m glad because I have to slow down
I’m glad to be reminded about what I am healing from. Some “flare ups” and detoxing that I have been experiencing the last couple weeks have reminded me what my “normal” used to be. I’m glad it is not my normal anymore. Some of this flair up has been out of my control… some crazy things have happened to people around me that has made my life busier, because I have been helping them out. But most is in my control. A little more sleep, a little laziness in not getting up when I remembered I forgot to take fermented cod liver oil. Giving in to eating a little to much fruit, and not enough stock because it’s easy. Because it’s what I want in the moment, not prioritizing investing in what my body needs. __And____________Down_________________________I__________________________________Went
Down and out!
Focus on sleep, rest, time out from the world and the busyness of life–whether or not I could “afford” to do so. My body was starting to wander from the path of healing and wellness. Since I was not giving it foods to heal, it was making me slow down physically, taking the energy it needed.
…which is good…
I appreciate the human body so much more than I ever have, and the amazing ways it compensates and presses on even with little to work with. But there are certain foods that help it heal and function well, and I know what they are. And with my knowledge comes my responsibility. To my body. To myself.
Also, I was letting my neighborhood run down–and unsavory characters were gaining strength in my gut. They were starting to dictate what I was craving again. And adding toxins to my body to further slow me down. And it becomes hard to fight all that. It is discouraging that I have to keep fighting to correct the bad that has been happening for years. And hard that it can so quickly slip away. It is hard to remember that I am still recovering, and not very far away from the time when I was very sick.
So the choice is there–fight again, or go back to how I was. I was functional, but also so cautious. Not able to make a mistake without miserable consequences like migraines, stomach aches, and more. I could go there–it sure is easier than GAPS, and I would be fine, probably, for a while…
But I have a bigger goal–not just to be alive, survive, exist. My goal is to heal. To be well–as well as I can manage to be with my imperfect body in this broken world. To be in a state of living!
Thankfully I took action early. It only took a week to get my trajectory back on course. I’ve almost regained that lost ground–almost. But I have gained something else that is very valuable. A deeper resolve to continue. To invest and expect a return, even when that investment is a little uncomfortable, and a little inconvenient. So forward I go–not perfectly or without faltering. But I know which direction I want to go, and I know that which lies in that direction is worth the journey.